Lessons in chemistry: being an effective chief of staff

Paul Kadzielski

7 min read

Paul Kadzielski outlines the fundamentals of a successful principal-chief of staff relationship.

Introduction

For the better part of the past two decades, I have had the good fortune of seeing what it takes to lead many different types of organisations to success. I’ve worked in the private sector across multiple industries, in government, on political campaigns, and at nonprofits. I’ve seen up close how much strategy and patience it takes to close a several-hundred-million-dollar deal, the effort and drive required to launch a two-person company from a garage, and the dedication and coordination needed to rally dozens of agencies to care for millions in an emergency. Through all these diverse experiences, and in organisations with 4 people or 45,000, one thing has become abundantly clear to me: to be an effective chief of staff, you must be a strong collaborator. A key element in levelling up your collaboration skills is being honest about your own preferences, tendencies, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses, while also understanding those of your partner. Although you will engage in many different collaborative relationships in your capacity as chief of staff, none is more important than the one you will have with your principal. Put another way, if you want to be an impactful chief of staff, it’s often not enough to just excel at discrete tasks or to be an experienced team member; you must also have strong chemistry with your principal. Evaluating and optimising for this dynamic is essential both in selecting the right chief of staff opportunity and in thriving within the role. With this approach, the core question for any chief of staff becomes whether you and your principal—be it a CEO, founder, department head, public official, military officer, or another leader—will form an effective partnership. While many dimensions are worth considering, the following list highlights some key areas for reflection. Remember, there are no absolutes or one-size-fits-all answers to these questions. Your right answer will be dependent on your unique professional context. Whatever your approach, it must work for you, your principal, and your organisation.

Personality and ego: know the line to walk the line

As a chief of staff, you will spend a large portion of your time with your principal. Ask yourself: is this someone you want to spend the majority of your waking hours with? Do you generally get along with them? Would you choose to have a meal with them if you didn’t work together? These questions are table stakes, and once you’ve sorted through them, you’ll need to dive deeper. Leadership often means that your principal is in the spotlight. Some principals need to be the centre of attention, often for valid reasons, while others can have a more complicated, or even toxic relationship with being at the front of the room. Understanding how they think and feel about this dynamic, and how they perceive their own importance, can be extremely useful. Perhaps the most important questions to ask are: what is their sense of self and ego? How do they relate to their existing team? Do they need to be the focal point for personal or professional reasons? Do they behave differently behind closed doors than in public, and why? Learning the answers to these questions will help you understand the positive and negative traits that will shape your relationship dynamic. As a chief of staff, your job is not to have all the good ideas, but to find, identify, develop, and implement the best ones. Put effort into understanding how your principal views themselves in the creation of ideas and how you view yourself in this process. Look for alignment in how credit is shared publicly and privately. Does your principal welcome outside approaches and listen to others' thoughts, or do they need to be the person who has all of the good ideas, all of the time? Ask for examples of how they have sourced and implemented ideas in the past and be sure to get specific. Their answers will reveal a lot about their character, leadership style, and potential compatibility.

Communication and conflict: are you a lover, a fighter, or a talker?

Consider how your principal communicates day-to-day. Are they brief and direct, or do they prefer detailed explanations? Do they enjoy debating or prefer to take a more contemplative approach? What communication mediums do they favour—text, face-to-face conversations, or email? Know these things and know them well; they will be the building blocks of your relationship. Conflict resolution style is also critical. Disagreements will inevitably arise, and how they’re handled matters greatly. Some leaders encourage adversarial collaboration, while others might find challenges to their authority frustrating. Understanding these dynamics early on can help you anticipate and navigate conflicts or high-stress decision making, keeping your relationship strong over time—or helping you identify problem areas early, or even avoid a potentially toxic professional partnership in the first place.

Division of labour: divide and conquer, or don’t

Some principals expect their chief of staff to shadow them closely and provide general support across all topics, while others view the role as one of strategic delegation, offloading specific tasks or areas of responsibility. While this approach may evolve throughout your professional relationship, it’s helpful to understand your leader’s expectations from the beginning, and be painfully clear about them. This is a measuring stick that you will likely be judged against in your principal’s eyes.

Values and worldview: do things look different from over there?

You’ll spend a lot of time with this person covering a wide variety of topics, so it may be helpful if you share a similar outlook on the broader world. Compatibility in worldview may not be immediately apparent in daily operations, but it can influence how people handle ambiguity and the assumptions they make. For example, consider your reaction to being cut off in traffic: is your default perspective to view it as an unacceptable violation of norms that must be punished, or do you naturally assume the driver likely had a valid reason to take personal exemption, like an emergency? Do you fall somewhere in between? A difference in default perspectives can translate to various workplace situations, from handling sensitive personnel disputes to resolving high-stakes negotiations with ambiguous or missing information. A shared worldview can make these scenarios easier to navigate by reducing friction and communication effort. Conversely, a principal may intentionally seek out someone with a different perspective to avoid blind spots. Knowing where you fall in this spectrum is crucial to your long-term effectiveness as a chief of staff. Ask personal questions to help sort this out, and try to understand your principal’s default viewpoint. What news sources do they consume? Do they have a theory on how people generally operate? Ask about formative experiences in their career and life from which they draw lessons.

Strategic alignment: where are we going? Are we there yet?

If you and your principal are not aligned on the organisation’s goals and direction, you are likely headed for disaster. Take the time to understand their vision and how they aim to achieve it. Do they prioritise efficiency, stability, expansion, security, or another objective? What’s their appetite for risk? Getting a good read on these elements is essential for strategic alignment, which will ultimately guide both your and their decision-making. Importantly, this alignment will need constant tending. You wouldn’t go on a 1,000 km road trip and only check the map at the beginning; don’t assume that because you agreed three months ago, you still agree. Check for alignment frequently and understand what contextual factors or new data may adjust your principal’s decision-making.

Strengths and weaknesses: opposites attract, sometimes

No one is perfect, and we all have weaknesses and strengths—that’s why we work on teams, combining different talents to accomplish goals. Many self-aware principals follow the adage: hire your weaknesses. Is your principal someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses? Do you know yours? Are they complementary or do they ensure redundancy in a leadership structure that needs it? Getting answers to these questions early on will matter a lot. Be sure you’re bringing the missing ingredients needed to help the organisation. If your leader doesn’t acknowledge any of their weaknesses, be wary; that can be an early sign of a toxic environment. If your principal is clear on where they are strong, where they are weak, and what they are looking for, that can be a good indication of a partnership that is likely to be successful.

Conclusion

Whether personal or professional, there’s often a tendency to list definitive red and green flags in relationships, but the reality is far more situational. The dynamics of partnerships are nearly infinite and a risky, or even toxic, trait in one context can be essential for success in another. Putting the time and effort into accurately identifying the kind of dynamic that you are likely to have with your principal is a critical component to your overall effectiveness and satisfaction in your job. By thoughtfully evaluating compatibility with your principal, you can identify and build a successful partnership that maximises your potential as a chief of staff and supports the organisation’s growth.

Paul Kadzielski

Chief of Staff, American Center for Manufacturing and Innovation

With nearly two decades of leadership spanning strategy, operations, and marketing, Paul Kadzielski has led interdisciplinary teams across a wide range of industries—from hardware and software to new AI/ML applications, aerospace, political campaigns, entertainment, government, and civic engagement technology.

His expertise in building and guiding successful teams stems from diverse experiences, including scaling operations for pioneering startups, leading nationally recognized government modernization efforts, managing top-performing sales teams, driving high-profile marketing initiatives, safeguarding satellites in orbit, launching and landing the LA 2028 Olympic bid, advising numerous political campaigns, and designing award-winning software products.

Paul currently serves as Chief of Staff at the American Center for Manufacturing and Innovation, an organization dedicated to revitalizing the U.S. industrial base and advancing pioneering technologies.

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